I’m a thinking gal, and I always seem to be asking questions. To me, no question is too dumb, or too out there, to be addressed.
For the past year, I’ve been asking some hard faith questions of myself, and I’ve come to realize while not many people want to ask these questions of themselves, many enjoy my personal process of growing in faith. In turn, it encourages them to seek answers themselves, and possibly…to ask questions they’d never thought to ask, or were afraid to ask.
When I think back to last summer, I remember clearly, the first hard question I asked myself. This question came after being overwhelmed with the zeal, passion and deep faith I’d seen in the biblical people, verses my own lack. I have long wanted the passion and zeal of David, and Paul, my two favorite guys. I’d long been impressed by and deeply wanted the deep faith of Hannah and Elizabeth. But I felt the lack in my own walk…I was, more often than not, lazy, lukewarm, and hypocritical.
Until I finally started asking, seeking, knocking…with my WHOLE heart, and soul.
7 “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. 9 Or what man is there among you who, when his son asks for a loaf, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, he will not give him a snake, will he? 11 If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!
What was I missing?! That was the million dollar question that seared my soul for months. I felt like I HAD to be missing SOMETHING, that something WAS NOT right, and WHAT was it?! I pleaded for His wisdom and understanding, because I felt I lacked it.
Psalm 51:6 6 Behold, You desire truth in the innermost being,
And in the hidden part You will make me know wisdom.
I’d been a Christian for 20+ years, so why did I feel like I was missing something huge?
Because I was. For 20+ years, I’d had faith in this Jesus of the Bible, but I didn’t KNOW Him, the full picture of Him, until my question was answered…
Until humble ol’ me, was met by YHVH Himself, and I knew what I’d been missing. I’d been missing the Torah picture.
7 If you had known Me, you would have known My Father also; from now on you know Him, and have seen Him.”8 Philip *said to Him, “Lord, show us the Father, and it is enough for us.” 9 Jesus *said to him, “Have I been so long with you, and yet you have not come to know Me, Philip? He who has seen Me has seen the Father; how can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? 10 Do you not believe that I am in the Father, and the Father is in Me? The words that I say to you I do not speak on My own initiative, but the Father abiding in Me does His works. 11 Believe Me that I am in the Father and the Father is in Me; otherwise believe because of the works themselves. 12 Truly, truly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do, he will do also; and greater works than these he will do; because I go to the Father. 13 Whatever you ask in My name, that will I do, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. 14 If you ask Me anything in My name, I will do it.
15 “If you love Me, you will keep My commandments.
For as long as I feel lead to share, I’ll share my questioning process, but I do NOT claim to have any answers. I do not feel able to teach what I am learning. so if you have questions, I will guide to someone who is better able to answer them, than myself. If I feel that I can teach something, I’ll share that.
For right now, I’ll share my questioning process, and how my faith is being built up, from foundation (Torah) up (Yeshua).
Thank you, may YHVH bless you and keep you until next time.