They say time heals all wounds.
Everyone’s definition of healing is different, but if by healing it means, the pain has lessened, the acute grief has faded, and the searing sense of loss has passed…then yes. Time does heal.
Even with the progress I’ve made and the faith I have, there are echoes, moments in time which seem frozen and etched there forever. There are also the inevitable moments in which my heart says, “what if…”
Today…I struggle with saying anything. Do I mark this day in words? Do I let it ebb and fade with the sun?
In my words he is remembered, in my none words, he is lovingly held, rocked, and remembered in my heart.
Words, while they are my comfort at times, seem pompous, trite, and self serving. Things I do not want associated with Mickey.
Do I bore you with his name?
Do I cause you to avoid me on days like today?
Do I make you uncomfortable with my grieved moments?
Do you wish I’d say nothing, so you can pass this day without feeling sorry for me?
Today…my thoughts ramble, wiggle and waver.