So much going on and I don’t know where to begin…
So many things with Molly remind me of Michael that I find myself sinking into attitudes and places I didn’t want to revisit…ever again.
I see in myself an ugly side that doesn’t have regard to myself, my children or my husband. Even, God. All I keep thinking, is thank God that no one but Him can hear my thoughts, as what I say is bad enough but the thoughts…well…those are horrid.
I don’t have a connection to Molly like I’d had with Jeremiah. I feel like a bad Mom because of it. I love her…but I just feel very distant.
Do I connect her to Mickey?
Am I expecting something to happen to her?
I don’t know…
My emotions run the range from anger to tears in a matter of seconds, and I’m not an emotional person. o.O It’s driving me nutty.
I’ve called for an appointment with my doctor…I can’t do this anymore.
Please pray for me….