Mental Weight

The past few days, I’ve really been thinking about the mental side of weight loss. I’d found several pictures of myself, that I loathed to see. And then I took a few new ones, and the difference was astounding to me.  It hit me, that I still think like the girl who was hugely overweight, bloated and uncomfortable. I still have the poor image of myself, the same defeatist language to describe myself.

 

But I realized something. Yes, I did a lot to get myself here, no doubt about that. However, I missed something. I overlooked the importance of working on fixing that mental image, those mental words and phrases I use against myself. So where do I go? What do I do now? I already knew that some of the fitness motivational memes didn’t sit right with me. So much about self, and I felt something was missing from that.

 

Then I remembered something. I’m a Christian. I follow a God who says many things about His children. He says many amazing things about me, and about you.  Why not use those, to help shape the new ‘mental me’?

Why not indeed?

his child

 

The Gospel of John begins by pointing back to Genesis in his words and then he adds another beautiful part to that.

 

John 1: 10-13

10 He was in the world, and the world was made through Him, and the world did not know Him. 11 He came to His own, and those who were His own did not receive Him. 12 But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of Godeven to those who believe in His name, 13 who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.

 

I have believed, and received Him, so I have inherited the right to be called a child of God. Wow. In most of the world, being a child of someone is a special thing. It’s safe place in the storm, it’s a place to call home, a place for advice and wisdom gained and learned. I am a child of God.

 

My take away from this: I am not defined by a number on a scale, the number of rolls on my body, or by my own thoughts against me. I am defined by my God as His child. His daughter. I am loved, and cared for, enough, to hold that title. 

Whole30 No More, And A Realization

…or two. 

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Y’all. I’m done with Whole30. In fact, I’m done with Paleo, vegetarian, AIP, and any manner of ‘dietary lifestyle’ that is supposed to help with various health issues. If you want to feel like Alice going down that rabbit hole, just tag along in my memories of this part year. A person can get insanely obsessive about this stuff, it they don’t watch out.

And I didn’t watch out. 

Thankfully, I have some good family and friends, who’ve dropped hints (or straight up told me to STOP IT). It just took my a little longer to ‘get it’. ;)

Why am I stopping? Because it was driving me crazy, and very much so it was harming my already iffy relationship with food. We can deduce that my history with food isn’t the best, but this last year it had gotten progressively worse.  To the point that all food was the enemy. Really y’all?! Yes, there are things I’ve learned that I can’t unlearn now. There are things I know, and will therefore change based on that knowledge. But it can go overboard, VERY easily for me.

I won’t sit here and list everything I AM eating…or the things I’m avoiding. What I will tell you is this…

  • I want it to be comfort food.
  • I want it to be yummy.
  • I want it to be memory makin’ food with my kids.
  • I want it to nourish our bodies AND our minds.
  • I want to love the food I eat, and know it’s loving me back.
  • I want to see the food as fuel AND comfort, family, celebration.
  • There has to be a way to balance all of that…right?!
  • I never ask for much. Ahem.

 

When you face your food issues head on, it can be good. Just remember that it will take a  life time of effort, to keep the relationship healthy. This life I have is lived just once. I want to enjoy life, enjoy family, and not feel like food is the enemy. Hard to do at times, but that’s my aim. 

 

Here’s to food! Oh, and I’ve since made 3-4 more food boards on Pinterest. Haha…um Southern Food is one of them. Y’all, I’m a California born and raised- wanna be Southern- type of gal…I’m odd. 

 

Whole30 – Day 3

…and I’m ready to throw in the towel. 

I lied. 

I’ve cheated every day. 

I have also not worked out since Saturday, and it’s getting to me. I feel like a complete failure this morning!  Things go well for me, and then BAM! It all falls out of my hand, in a jumbled mess. Now I’m left thinking, am I trying to do too much at once? If so…what needs to go? What pressures am I placing on myself that aren’t necessary right now?

Then I have to think, am I giving myself an excuse here? It’s a lot of thought. Probably too much. You may have noticed, that I think too much. ;) I’ll be giving thought to my routine, life, fitness, menu, school, etc and see what needs to be further adjusted. Finding something that I love, keeps me going and I jump out of bed for, is my goal.

 

I will finish this day Whole30 approved, and see where I end up tonight. I need to pray about it. I haven’t done that as WELL as I should, it was more of a ‘popcorn’ prayer, and that isn’t right either.

 

Have you ever hit a wall, and just needed to take a moment and think about what needed to be changed? If so, please share in the comments! Please tell me I’m not alone! ;)

Whole30 Day 1

So yesterday, I tried my coffee without sugar. *bleck!* This morning, tea with a splash of almond milk it is! I’ve not been in the best habits of eating breakfast, so they are still simple and fairly odd at times. I’d like to have better breakfasts, and maybe this 30 days will help me with that! They say breakfast is the best meal of day. ;)

 

I made a very yummy soup today! I’m pretty proud of myself. ;) I’m going to call it…

 

Orange Soup. (original, I KNOW! I’m smart like that!)

 

1 can of pumpkin puree

1 can of full fat coconut milk

1-2 teaspoons red pepper flakes

1 teaspoon onion flakes

1 teaspoon rosemary

1 teaspoon ginger

1 teaspoon turmeric

Salt and pepper to taste

 

Add it all to a stew pot, and cook on low until melded together, and hot! Serve with the Simple Paleo Tortillas! (which I did, I added to those, garlic, onion and oregano)!! And OMG totalllllly melt in your mouth yumminess. I swear. ;)

 

Day One, done.

And it went okay. Not the best of recipes, minus the yummy soup above. I need to make better combos to eat! For myself and the kids. And of course, my hubby!

 

 

Whole30 Day 0

It’s the night before my Whole30 – vegetarian style experiment. I don’t know what to expect. Though I have to admit, I’m scared of cheating. The whole purpose of joining some friends for this, is that I HAVE been cheating. Eating things I know without a doubt that I shouldn’t be.  So, I’ll have the support of those lovely ladies, during this.

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I’m also choosing to do the vegetarian Whole30, because I’m still searching for an eating life that makes me feel better. I hesitate to even say I’m doing the vegetarian style, because names of diet-methods drive me crazy. For some time now, I’ve seen that a great number of people from one end of the food spectrum to the other have healed themselves with food. GOOD food. Organic food(s). Food that is as close to it’s natural state as possible, without all of the additives, fillers, chemicals, pesticides, antibiotics, growth hormones, etc.  I’ve seen enough, to realize that every single persons food journey will look different. And the key to good (dare I say, GREAT?) health, is going to look different from one person to the next.

I will admit now, that I don’t fully agree with everything vegetarian/vegan, nor do I with Paleo/Primal. My food philosophy is probably very odd to some, but…it is what it is!

 

So…here’s to a wonderful 30 days, in this journey of mine. To a happy, healthier me…where ever I end up on the food ‘fight’.

What I See VS. What You See

Lately, people have been saying I’m motivating, inspirational, kicking @ss…

You know what I see?

Mom and I 3.30.2011

I see her. I see the overweight, unhealthy person I was. I’m finding that at times I’m still there mentally. I still feel like a failure, and a fake. This can’t possibly be what I look like now…

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I see that picture, and I still see the weight that needs to come off, the emotional turmoil, and the still wonky health.

But I’m changing…I know I am. Slowly that part of the mind that has held me captive is being released from it’s jail. My mind is letting my body go to it’s limits and beyond. *Infinity and beyond, y’all!* I can say this journey is FAR from over, and I’ll be living it for the rest of my life. But in the meantime, thank you for the comments, the ‘atta girls’ and thumbs up. You have NO idea what they mean to me. Even if sometimes I shake my head and think...if only they could see how I’m feeling today

 

The Truth About Exercise

Well MY truth about it, when I have an un-medicated thyroid disease. I still cringe, admitting that out-loud. But it is what it is! 

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This past week, I’ve been feeling sluggish, tired and very un-motivated. Sore, cranky, moody. I’ve been doing some thinking about my exercise, what my goals are. What I want from it.

I love seeing how each day makes my body stronger.

I love seeing that my emotions are more stable after working out.

But I think I was doing too much, too soon.

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So instead of just saying screw it, although I have to admit I kind of did. For 30 minutes. I said, okay…this means it’s time to re-think the plan, completely. Now, I am giving myself a rest day every other day. I’m still going to finish out the T25, but I’m going to rest between days. I’m also going to add in some yoga, since I love the balance, and stability it brought me in the past. On top of that, and at this point it seems like a lot still, I’m going to continue the C25K program, and jog. I love the fresh air, birds, trees, too much to give it up. Some weeks I might do more jogging, some more yoga, some more T25, but I will keep active. And not give myself the excuse to stop, quit or (insert reasoning here).

Part of changing your life, one step at a time, is allowing for life to happen. Accepting that things will slow you down, get in the way, get overwhelming, etc.

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Yesterday, I didn’t want to work out. In fact, I just wanted to curl up with a heating pad, eat ice cream and check out mentally. And I did…for about 30 minutes. Then the brain started thinking at me: this is your old self, Peggy. Why are you letting it make choices again? This is what got you here in the first place…I though you wanted to change. All of that ‘embrace the pain’ mantra, and small steps, you keep jabbering about. 

And it hit me: this is where the rubber REALLY meets the road. When you want to give up and in, when you choose to make a bad choice…you still have time THAT DAY to change the outcome. So yes, I did end up working out. It wasn’t 100%, because my body was sore, and my attitude wasn’t completely there. But I did it. And wouldn’t you know, afterwards I felt better? I still had a bit of the ‘I’m beat’ feeling, but it was a moment also of thank goodness I did it, and I AM changing.

They say the brain is the last to change. It’s also the place you find your motivation. The place you will find your reason(s). The body follows along, where ever the brain leads. I’ve lived a lot of my life, letting the body decide things, and my brain got a ride through life. Now, I’m dealing with a disease that makes the brain foggy, sluggish and numb. This may be a coincidence, but I find it ironic. You don’t value something, until you lose it, or it becomes weaker.

This life is the only one I have to live, and each day is a new day to make the right choices, and live my life to the Glory of God.

I have forgotten that part of this journey. God. How could it?! He can help with every aspect of life…even food and exercise! The basics. So often, we forget to invite Him into all the parts of our lives. I am guilty of this, oh so much! So this new leaf I’m turning, once again, is to include Him, invite Him, call on His help; because obviously, left to my own devices, I would be lazy, fat, and a glutton!

 

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Do you have an exercise plan that works for you? Are you excited to get to it? Does it help you deal with other demands on your life?